Resolution
Angie, the coolest girl I’ve ever met, which is good on account of me knocking her up, said I needed to post something. So on that note, I’ll say “yes Dear.”
Fact of the matter is that I’ve been swinging through my usual winter melancholy anxiously awaiting the day it will ease. Today seems to be the day. I’ve had nothing good to say of anything until now.
I bought 4 new pair of undeware today. That, is good news.
Additionally, I am now writing this through a looking glass in the form of a 20″ iMac provided by my late Grandfather. It seems that in the later days of his life, he embraced the dark side known as Apple.
Since receiving the computer a few days ago, I’ve perused a few of the many writings he has compiled on it, and they are good. Interesting accounts of his life in the old-folks home, his past and contemplations of the future. I look forward to exploring more of his mind via this machine. A consolation prize of sorts.
In immediate good news, I’ve thought more about bike riding over the last few days. It’s always this way in the winter. I get down, and I don’t want to do anything but sleep. I generally force myself out of bed out of sheer self respect and face the day with little in the ay of enthusiasm. That is fine. It’s the monkey I was born with and I fight it as well as I can, but I’m always scared that I’ll let go of the idea of riding and one day, it might never come back. Luckily, I think I’ll hit up Sedona tomorrow. Should be a soulful time.
On the Year… It’s been one hell of a ride for some. Juan is one of many who have been taken down by the imbalance of roadway might and human nature. John nearly died that day. I am confident that I could not take the same blow. The one thing that I find remarkable about his accident was that he was blown out of his shoes. The entire thing brings the idea of mortality just that much closer to home. I still have not ridden Lake Mary because of it. Fortunately, he is alive and like Garro, a bit worse for ware, but stronger in the end because of the experience.
And to think that even 6 months ago, I still had my head up my ass (some may argue still) and now, I’m going to be a father. That just beats all get out. And I take solace in the fact that it is amazingly right right for both Ang and self. We are a pretty happy set of knuckle heads and we would not have it any other way. Had this not happened, I’d be stewing in the same narcissistic mire as always. It’s the kick in the head I’ve needed for going on three years.
Impossible is nothing.
These events are small in the grand scheme, but for me they bring back to consciousness the idea that life deals the cards we need, not just the cards we want, or want to hate. I believe that we all have our circumstances because no matter what, the only lessons we truly need, are the ones we take on ourselves, through our own manipulations of the experience. Reality, is what we make it out to be.
Monday is the dawn of a new year. Nothing will change but the date. It is notable though for giving us a moment to revisit our actions from the past year and revise, of only for a fleeting moment, how we will live tomorrow. In my resolution I have only one simple goal. I would simply like to chill the fuck out on all accounts. I’ve got the best life in the world, like many, and yet I can kill it with too much thought. I wish to take on the new day with less mind and more soul.
What will you give to yourself?
Happy new year.